just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
My ass is underappreciated
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Randomize