I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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