Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
