NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
i need some magic done to my vagina
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
