we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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