I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
