Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
