Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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