Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I believe in your delicious
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
