3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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