I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
