I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
