So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
