Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
