u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize