Please, let me fuck your mom
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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