yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
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