Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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