Do vagina's smell?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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