I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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