Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
