both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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