people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
