My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize