Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
