Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
