You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
