I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
