Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Randomize
