He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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