Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize