brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
My dad just said "fuck circus"
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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