Christians are straight up FREAKS
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
