I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
