you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
He better not be in your backpack
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
