Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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