she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
