and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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