it wasn't lemon gatorade
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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