Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
