your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
plz talk dirty to me
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize