its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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