We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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