i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
