Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Randomize
