were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
