You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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