I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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