I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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