Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize