Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
