and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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