I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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