life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
