if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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