I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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