But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
