he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
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